at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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