Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
