Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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