I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
