Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
