I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize