I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
