if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
