We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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