hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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