Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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