Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Buhtt sex?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
