Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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