I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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