Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
