Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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