I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
