So drunk, too bad you don't want this
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
