I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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