So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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