...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
