Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
