something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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