is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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