I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
