Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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