TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
