So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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