flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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