Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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