This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
