I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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