My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
