I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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