508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Can I color on your dick again?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
