why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
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i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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