I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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