my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I love having hate sex.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
