I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
