I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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