i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
