I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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