i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
