Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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