apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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