My underwear smells like fireworks.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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