May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
