whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
