We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
