So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
