the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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