I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
