no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
