she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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