she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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