bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think i have two assholes
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
