y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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