He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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He? As in you personified your dick?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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