She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
