i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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